Kids-Young Adults


Please Read!
Talking With Children
Families & Coping With HD
What Young People Think~HD
HD & Me: A Guide For Young People
Do You Have A Sibling With HD?
SECTION 2 - Knowledge!
What Is Abuse?
What Are Signs of Abuse?
What Is Attention Deficit? (AD-HD)
Emotional~Helping Your Child
Alcoholic Parent? What You Should Know
How Do I Handle Anger?
What Is Anxiety?
How Do I Handle Bad Moods?
What Is A Bipolar Disorder?
How Does My Brain Work?
What Are My Brain Parts?
Brain Foods & Actions
What Is A Chronic Illness?
Handout: 25 Tips To Help Someone
What Is Depression?
Are You Depressed?
What Happens On A Physical Exam?
What Will Happen At A Hospital?
What Is A Drug/Drinking Problem?
How Can Drugs Harm Me?
What Are Epilepsy~Seizures?
Do My Feelings Matter?
All About Genes
Explain Hyperactivity To Me
What's It Like Living With JHD?
~JHD HDSA Project
What Is A Learning Disability?
How DO Medicines Work?
How Does Our Memory Work?
What Is Obsessive Compulsive?
What Is An Occupational Therapist?
What Senses Pain?
What Is Physical Therapy?
What Is Speech Therapy?
What Is A Psychologist? Psychiatrist?
Thinking About Running Away?
Why Do I Feel Sad?
Why Is Sleep Important?
Special Needs Kids-What's It Like?
Feeling Stressed Out?
Suicide~Helping A Friend
Does Talking To Parents Help?
What About Teens & Suicide?
What Is Seeing A Therapist Like?
Tell Me About Wheelchair Use
Tell Me About Dying
~ Grief
SECTION 3 - Links
HD Support Groups
HD Information
Medical Stuff
Good Stuff!
Fun Learning!
Got Talent?
Fun Stuff
Live Chat Room
Message Forum
Add A Link
Kelly E. Miller
Fun Quotes
What Are Signs of Abuse?

Return To INDEX

                                                            Never tolerate abuse....get help!
When Brian and Sarah began dating, all her friends were
jealous. Brian seemed like the perfect guy: smart, sensitive,
funny, athletic, and good-looking. For the first couple of
months, Sarah thought she had never been happier. She
started to miss her friends and family though, because she
was spending more time with Brian and less time with everyone
else. That seemed easier than dealing with Brian's endless
questions. He worried about what she was doing at every
moment of the day.
Sarah's friends became concerned when her behavior started
to change. She lost interest in stuff like swimming and music
that she used to really enjoy. She became secretive and moody.
When her friends asked Sarah if she was having trouble with
Brian, she forcefully denied that anything was wrong. What was
going on? Read this article to find out how to tell if you or a friend
is being abused and what you can do about it.
What Is Abuse?
Everyone has heard the songs about how much love can hurt.
But  someone who loves you should never abuse you.
Relationships  shouldn't humiliate the people involved.
Abuse can sometimes be mistaken for intense feelings of caring
or concern. Sometimes abuse can even seem flattering; think of
a friend whose boyfriend or girlfriend is insanely jealous. Maybe
you've thought, "She's so lucky! He must really care about her."
The fact is, excessive jealousy and controlling behavior are not
signs of affection at all. Love involves respect and trust; it doesn't
mean constantly worrying about the possible end of the
Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Slapping, hitting, and
kicking are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances
and friendships.
Emotional abuse, like teasing, bullying, and humiliating others, can
be difficult to recognize because it doesn't leave any visible scars.
Threats, intimidation, put-downs, and betrayal are all harmful forms
of emotional abuse that can really hurt - not just during the time it's
happening, but long after, too.
It's never right to be forced into any type of sexual experience that
you don't want. This type of abuse can happen to anyone, anytime.
The first step is to realize that you have the right to be treated with
respect and not be physically or emotionally harmed by another
person. But how can you prevent becoming involved in this type of
relationship? How can you help a friend who is in an abusive
Signs That You Are Being Abused
Any type of unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable
are red flags that the relationship needs to focus more on respect.
Phrases like "If you loved me, you would . . ." also should warn you of
possible abuse. A statement like this is emotional blackmail from a
person concerned about getting what they want. Trust your intuition.
If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.
There are important warning signs that you may be involved in an
abusive relationship. Abusive behaviors include:
  • harming you physically in any way, including slapping,
    pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and
  • trying to control different aspects of your life, such
    as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what
    you say
  • frequently humiliating you or making you feel unworthy,
    for example by putting you down but telling you that
    he loves you
  • coercing or threatening to harm you if you leave the
  • twisting the truth to make you feel you are to blame
    for his actions
  • demanding to know where you are at all times
  • constantly becoming jealous or angry when you want
    to spend time with your friends

Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused

In addition to the signs listed above, here are some signs
of abuse to look for in a friend:
  • unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks
  • excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason
  • secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family
  • avoidance of school or social events with excuses
    that don't seem to make any sense

If a friend is being abused, the one thing she needs most is
someone to hear and believe her. Maybe she is afraid to tell
her parents because they'll make her end the relationship.
People who are abused often feel like it's their fault - that
they "asked for it" or that they don't deserve any better. But
abuse is never deserved. Your friend needs you to help her
understand that it is not her fault and she is not a bad person.
The person who abused her is at fault and needs professional

If you have a friend who is being abused, she needs your
patience, love, and understanding. She also needs you to
encourage her to get help immediately from an adult, such as
a parent or guidance counselor. Most of all, she needs you
to listen to her without judging her. It takes a lot of courage
to admit that you have been abused; let her know that she
has your full support.

How You Can Help Yourself

What should you do if you are suffering from any type of abuse?
If you can't love someone without feeling afraid, it's time to get
out of the relationship fast. You're worth being treated with
respect and you can get help.

First, make sure you're safe. A trusted adult can help you. If the
person has physically attacked you, don't wait to get medical
attention or call the police. Assault is illegal, and so is rape -
even if it's done by someone you are dating.

Avoid the tendency to isolate yourself from your friends and family.
You might feel like you have nowhere to turn, or embarrassed
about what's been going on, but this is the time when you need
support most. People like counselors, teachers, coaches, and
friends will want to help you, so let them.

Don't rely on yourself alone to get out of the situation; the people
who love and care about you can help you break away. It's
important to know that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness -
it actually shows that you have a lot of courage and are willing
to stand up for yourself.

Where to Get Help

There are many resources available to help you. (Click on the Resources
tab on this article to see a partial list.) Your local phone book will
list hundreds of crisis centers, teen help lines, and abuse hotlines.
These organizations have professionally trained staff to listen,
understand, and help.

Ending abuse and violence in teen relationships is a community effort
with plenty of people ready to help. Don't forget about those in
your neighborhood who will be willing and able to help: religious
leaders, school nurses, teachers, school counselors, doctors, and
other health professionals are all sources of support and information.

Remember, abuse has no place in love.


KidsHealth is a project of The Nemours Foundation which is
dedicated to improving the health and spirit of children. Today, as part of its
continuing mission, the Foundation supports the operation of a number of renowned
children's health facilities throughout the nation, including the Alfred I. duPont
Hospital for Children in Wilmington, Delaware, and the Nemours Children's Clinics
throughout Florida. Visit The Nemours Foundation to find out more about them and
its health facilities for children 
Childhelp USA
Childhelp USA is dedicated to meeting the physical, emotional, educational, and spiritual needs of abused and neglected children. Call them at: (800) 422-4453 When the recording comes on, press 1 to talk with someone.