• Why Me Many people feel as though they have done
  something wrong and are being punished for an unknown
  deed.  They feel that they have either been chosen to
  grieve or have been blessed as a special person,
  dependent upon whichever take is assumed.

• Its All Your Fault - Any extremely stressful situation
  increases tension in the marital and familial relationship. 
  This is common.  Many parents tend to affix blame on
  the partner alluding to the fact that it is in the genes,
  social make-up or has to do with why the sky is blue.
  People sometimes feel better if the unknown can be
  explained, and they often struggle to feel better.

• To Be Or Not To Be - Some parents cope by sacrificing
  themselves, siblings, extended family members and/or
  friends, for the sake of the member most in need. Perhaps,
  this cannot always be avoided by caring parents. However,
  it seems that often in these circumstances and emotional
  expressions that guilt and a myriad of deep feelings are at
  play.

Shop Till You Drop

There is always a quick fix, in our society, is there not? Some parents

will resort to doctor shopping. However, a distinction can be drawn. It

seems that to visit many doctors in seeking a magic cure, harboring

unrealistic goals might qualify. Parents seeking wisdom, skill and an

understanding benevolence would seem rather, to be informed consumers

Inclusion

More transitions unfold.  Many efforts on behalf of children with special

needs have yielded a wave of growth for our societies as we witness

inclusion within the community, whether it be in school, housing, or the

warm smile of a stranger as opposed to that often encountered blank

stare.  If we apply this to the family, we see an adjustment where each

 

The Healing Process

It makes me think of the childhood game, Pin the Tail on the Donkey. 

When the blindfold is removed, everything becomes clear.  But it is not

that easy, as parents find inner resources to call upon, attempt to gain

some control, establish a more meaningful and supportive relationship

with their child, attempt to deal with the world they have been thrust into,

while maintaining a modicum of their lifestyle. 

 

It helps to relate to others in similar circumstances as isolation, although

common, is often stultifying.  It is also important to practice what I refer

to as advised conscious awareness, or to soul search, learn from others,

and work through feelings.  That energy may be channeled into other

constructive outlets: The birthing of a true advocate, perhaps.

 

How does one cope with the engendering of anger, sadness, grief,

or pain and yet still abound with love? 

 

It is a journey of the mind, body and spirit.  Time does eventually heal. 

Reaching out to others, whether it be to friends, family and/or agencies

can help.  Support services are available for parents and children to do

just what the term states; offer a bolstering, an anchor, when needed. 

 

A social worker is the appropriate professional to help negotiate this

complicated mire.  Whether it be counseling, accessing entitlement programs,

equipment needs, or just a knowing heart, a social worker can help you pull

it all together.